From The Outside
by Somebody's Dark Angel
Summary: He was the first thing I saw when I walked into school on my first day back. He looked different. Then I saw her. She was as gorgeous as ever, but she also looked different. Oneshot Zach POV, SS.


**From the Outside**

**By Somebody's Angel**

Takes place sometime after The Mallpisode, before Zach comes back in the show. I don't think Zach is a bad guy, and I was trying to portray the kind of guy I saw at the airport in The Rainy Day Women, not the jerk he's become since he's been back from Italy.

* * *

He was the first thing I saw when I walked into school on my first day back. He was walking with Ryan, talking incessantly as Ryan listened patiently. He looked different.

Then I saw her, walking down the stairs towards the two of them. She was as gorgeous as ever, but she also looked different.

She caught up to them, hit Seth none-too-gently on the arm to let him know she was there, and then they kissed briefly. When they pulled apart they were both grinning widely, and continued to grin as they intertwined fingers and walked into the school building.

Summer had always hated holding hands with me, she said my hands were always clammy, and preferred to have my arm around her. Obviously she didn't feel the same way with Seth.

I saw the two of them in my first period biology class. He whispered something to her, she giggled quietly and whispered back. His left arm was slung along the back of her chair, and their heads tilted towards one another. They continued whispering for a while, until finally the teacher got annoyed.

"Mr Cohen, Ms Roberts, do you have something you'd like to share with the class?" They looked up and shook their heads in unison. "Then I suggest you cease the private conversation and pay attention!"

I had to smirk at the looks that they gave one another when the teacher's back was turned. Seth mouthed "I'll tell you later," to Summer before they both turned their attention to the teacher.

When the class ended they walked out together, arms around one another, Summer holding his hand on her shoulder. He walked her to her next class, kissing her cheek as he dropped her off at the door. I continued down the hallway to my own class, thinking about the changes I saw in the pair of them.

She was happy. Happier than I'd ever seen her. Every time I saw her that day she was smiling and – as far as I could tell – the smile was genuine.

Seth was happy too. They still bickered as they had when 'friends', and she still hit him when she couldn't think of a good comeback, but now he would kiss her after the smack, and when they pulled apart they would both be grinning once more.

I approached her when I saw her alone at the coffee cart, and though her smile faltered when she saw me, her face was still practically glowing with happiness. It was then I knew I had made the right decision, letting her go without a fuss. If I had been honest with myself about her feelings for Seth I would have forced her to face her feelings earlier. As much as I liked her, from the moment I first saw them together – at the kick-off carnival – I knew she would never love me the way she did him. I knew I could never make her feel the way he did – anger, happiness, misery – every emotion was amplified when he made her feel it. For reasons that eluded me, they were perfect for one another, and who was I to stand in the way of true love?

I know she cared about me – she probably still does – but it was nothing compared to what she felt for him. She wanted him to know her – all of her – but she had always wanted to keep me at arm's length, the way she did everyone else.

"Hey, Zach." Her voice was soft, apologetic.

"Hi Summer." We stood facing one another, the awkwardness settling in between us like a third person.

"Zach, I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this -"

I shook my head. "It's okay, Summer. I knew it was coming. From the moment I first saw the two of you together, I knew it was only a matter of time." She stared at me, mouth moving soundlessly, unable to form words. "I like you Summer, a lot. But I can't…you love him. You always have."

She smiled a half-smile and looked at the floor briefly, then back up to my face but not, I noticed, looking me in the eye. "Zach…" She began, but I held a hand up to stop her.

"So I decided I could either be an ass and try and hold onto you and make you feel bad about it, in which case you'd go to him anyway and end up hating me." She simply nodded, knowing it was true. "Or, I could let you go, hang onto the last few shreds of my dignity, and you might still feel some kind of vague affection for me."

She bit her lip. "I'm so sorry, Zach."

I shook my head, suddenly feeling nothing other than tiredness – the time difference was catching up with me. "Don't be. Just - Summer?"

"Yeah?"

"Just be happy, okay? I don't want to be selfish. I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy." I winced internally, and Summer looked at me with concern. We both knew she had to say it, but it still hurt.

I nodded solemnly. "Good."

Summer and I could have worked, if Seth hadn't come back, but I knew – even from the beginning – that she wasn't into it the same way I was. And that was fine with me at first, I was content to just hang out, but eventually I wanted more – I wanted feelings expressed. Then she told me she didn't like talking about her feelings…in fact we didn't talk all that much, except for small talk and fights about Seth. It was one of the first things I noticed about the two of them – they talked about everything and anything. Conversation never seemed awkward between the two of them, and while they were talking was the only time I ever saw Seth not talking – and actually listening – for more than 30 seconds. It was like Ryan had once told me; Summer was the only subject that Seth cared about more than himself.

Even when they weren't talking out loud, they could communicate with just a look. I had never been able to read her thoughts the way he could. Seth always knew exactly which kind of coffee Summer wanted – different flavours and sizes at different times of the day. And Summer had memorised Seth's schedule about two weeks after school started – she never made an effort to know mine.

I had always been able to see through the fake happiness Summer put on – her eyes always gave her away. I could see her feelings in them – hurt, sadness, embarrassment, especially just after I kissed her. She almost always kissed me with her eyes closed, and when she opened them afterwards, I could always tell she was expecting someone else. She was expecting him.

Before I had gone to Italy, Summer had been kind of bummed about her disintegrating friendship with Marissa, who seemed to be spending much of her time with Seth's ex, Alex. But when I came back not only was Marissa back at school on a regular basis, she, Summer, Ryan and Seth seemed to have reformed their group from last year. Even thought Marissa and Ryan weren't yet back together the four of them were much happier…it seemed like everyone was happier when Seth and Summer were together…even me.

It sounds cliché, but all I really wanted was to see Summer happy. From the beginning I knew she would never be happy with me, but I had been willing to suffice until she found someone who did. I think the only thing I would have been annoyed about is if she had cheated on me with him – and I knew that was the one thing she would never have done. I knew – from Seth, Summer had never shared this kind of intimate details with me – that Summer had issues with abandonment and cheating – something to do with her parents – and it was for this reason that I hadn't broken up with her when I realised her feelings for Seth. I couldn't force her to forgive Seth, but I wasn't about to abandon her while she chose either. At least this was we had a chance of salvaging something from out relationship – even friendship is better than nothing…right?

THE END.

Tell me what you thought! Third chapter of _Seceding Link_ is coming, and I'm thinking about doing a second part of _Beautiful Disaster_, but will have to wait and see if I get inspired to write something good, coz I don't write pure smut.


End file.
